“What can we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us? Since God did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won’t God, who gave us Christ, also give everything else?”
Have you ever made a conscious effort to stop and only live in the moment? Not worrying about things you did in the past… not worrying about what is going to happen next month, tomorrow… even 30 minutes from now. Its challenging. Last week I turned 33. A few days before I had a minor meltdown… well not so much meltdown as a re-evaluation. It hit me that my mom passed away at 45… wow!!! I had so many dreams, goals, unanswered prayers to see through. 12 years wasn’t a very long way away… (not that I thought I would pass away in the same time frame or anything, more of an observation) then it hit me like a ton of bricks just how valuable everyday on this Earth is. I immediately made a deal with myself and with Jesus Christ to really enjoy this year… no expectations… no timelines… just a couple of guidelines and then go after it.
So the day comes, my birthday begins and it was truly an amazing day. I woke up to an entire day available to spend with, one of my favorite people, my dad. We went to lunch at my favorite restaurant and when the check came… we had been seated at Table #33…well isn’t that fun!!!
Lunch was followed by another one of my favorite activities… a tour of the Abraham Lincoln Presidential Library. Let me tell you, the 3 hours of history and knowledge I soaked in was amazing. I had forgotten what an inspiring life Lincoln had led. Did you know that a few years before he became President of the United States you would have found him in a bed… alone… and so depressed from heartbreak that he didn’t even care to go on?
I’ve been there… living in the muck & mire of life, sad, confused, feeling like I’m alone in a house full of people pretending to care about me, wanting to be away from all of them so badly that I’d say or do really anything. Not really wishing it would be over but rather just wishing for something… anything to be different. To wish for something to be different you have to do something fairly simple… BE DIFFERENT.
That difference for me has been to make a conscious effort to make all that I am… every breath that I take, an act of thankfulness and gratitude for every good person in my life and every beautiful experience Jesus Christ allows me to feel. When this began to happen my focus changed… it no longer mattered if I was in the right line of work… it no longer mattered if I would or wouldn’t, ever get married… have children. I have began to realize that even though my life is far from perfect and prayers are still given daily, dreams are still coming into fruition, I no longer have time to focus on the details because I am filled with such a joy that anything that will be added to the moment feels like a little miracle.
“Miracles” like my dad suggesting my favorite restaurant without even knowing it was my favorite… suggesting we head over to check out a new exhibit not knowing that spending a day at a library would be the perfect birthday gift for his daughter. And in those moments of gratitude all you can do is say…
“Thank you Jesus, for teaching me to dive into today instead of busying myself with developing tomorrow.” –Eliza